| | Last month, I found myself in the midst of the best equine opportunity I'd ever been offered with a lame horse. Not just any lame, no, the mareface had strained a tendon and required absolute stall rest for an entire month at which point we could re-evaluate and make a more informed decision.
In order to demonstrate my incredible moral progress, I spent two days saying "Really? REALLY? Now?" and shaking my fist in the general direction of heaven. I knew distinctly that 1) these things happen 2) God isn't punishing me for some misdeed and 3) I needed to trust him about this and learn whatever the lesson was quickly so I could move on, but none of those things mattered. I was just plain angry.
And then, in the space of a couple hours, everything changed. My lame horse went to live with some really nice people for her confinement and they loaned a super cool old horse to play around on while she's gone. So yeah, my situation is actually 100% better and improving.
Even though I was mad.
Even though I didn't deserve it.
I'm not going to pretend that I did something right or had a good attitude. I didn't. I was acting childish and petty and still things worked out better than I could have ever planned them myself.
So now I'm facing a new situation that looks equally bleak and distressing. I spent a day completely obsessing about it and stressing myself out about things that are far beyond my control. I was frustrated over potential outcomes that hadn't even happened yet.
And then I realized that maybe I should apply the lesson I had so obviously been shown just days prior.
Trust. And wait.
I don't know what's going to happen, but I refuse to let that uncertainty dictate my daily life. I refuse to take out my anxiety on the people around me. I trust that whatever happens, happens for a purpose designed by someone with a higher plan in mind.
And that higher plan can be pretty awesome. |
| | Posted 2/15/2012 2:37 PM - 32 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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I will do an update post soon.